


let's go to prison

by notthebigspoon



Series: Who Ya Gonna Call? [8]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-22
Updated: 2012-08-22
Packaged: 2017-11-12 16:45:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/493483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notthebigspoon/pseuds/notthebigspoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Toilet wine?”</p><p>	“You're the cop.”</p><p>	“Yes, but I will reserve my decision to arrest you. Don't look at me like that, I'm kidding. But really, why are you making toilet wine?”</p><p>	“It's purely scientific.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	let's go to prison

**Author's Note:**

> Well, after all the *feelings* of the past few chapters, decided we were due for some lighthearted crack.

“Toilet wine?”

“You're the cop.”

“Yes, but I will reserve my decision to arrest you. Don't look at me like that, I'm kidding. But really, why are you making toilet wine?”

“It's purely scientific.”

“Then why is Kamekona involved?”

“Because he's been to prison.”

“And?”

“And he told me what he had available to him on a given day and now I'm seeing the results.”

“Why do you want to know?”

“I was watching Let's Go to Prison. At the end they open a winery and... look, I'm curious.”

“Is this gonna be a thing?”

“I might try to improve the formula. Did you know they don't actually make it in toilets?”

“Yes I did. Why did you bring in toilets?”

“I said toilet wine and Kamekona took me kind of literally. We'll get rid of them when it's over.”

“Crazy. I married into a family of crazies.”

“You knew he was crazy when you married him. You have no one to blame but yourself.”

***

“I stopped by the house for a clean shirt on the way here . Zhul is making toilet wine.”

“He's actually going to do it?”

“You knew about this?”

“He said he was going to do it after we watched Let's Go to Prison. Stupid movie, by the way. I didn't think he was serious.”

“He recruited Kamekona. He's actually making it in toilets.”

“Why? It's made in trash bags... why am I telling you this? You know this. Is the trash bag in the toilet?”

“Yes. I have never seen a toilet that size in my life. And he's doing two of them. White wine and red wine.”

“He's not going to drink it is he?”

“I think Kamekona is gonna be involved. And I'm pretty sure he's going to try to make me try it.”

“And you will. You're a marshmallow.”

“No, no I am not.”

“You love that kid. Seriously. The only person I've ever seen you indulge more is Grace.”

“Well it helps, doesn't it? He actually leaves the house on a regular basis. Took her to a baseball game the other day.”

“Ah yeah. Gracie lied and said she'd never been.”

“... why would she lie about that?”

“You think she's going to tell a Mets fan she's only ever seen the Yankees?”

“That's it. Your brother is never being trusted with my daughter again. A _Mets_ fan? You turned my baby loose with a toilet wine making Mets fan?!”

“Unless they're facing each other, I don't see why it's a big deal.”

“Ugh.”

“Babe...”

“I know, I know. Baseball is as religion and politics. It causes family squabbles and is not to be discussed.”

“That's my husband.”

***

“Do it.”

“I'm not taking orders from a man wearing a Mets jersey.”

“Screw you Yankee Doodle. Drink it, Williams!”

“It's... with absolutely no other options, I would drink it. Tastes like a wine cooler past its prime. Fruity.”

“Okay, now the white.”

“REERK!”

“I... have never heard someone make that noise before. I'm guessing that one tasted bad.”

“Bad, Zhul? Bad?! That makes bad run and cry for its mommy. That tasted like ass!”

“That's scientific. 'Tastes like ass.' I will include that in my notes.”

“Did you make anyone else try this?”

“Kamekona, Kono and Chin.”

“And?”

“Kamekona didn't mind it, Kono had seconds and Chin spewed it out and told me that the next smurf he found was being sold to gypsies.”

“Steve is next.”

“I didn't _make_ Steve try it. He tried it on his own.”

“And?”

“And he threw up.”

“Y'know what kid... I don't care if you're a Mets fan, I think I love you.”

“And you are my second favorite Williams. Now help me get rid of this shit, I'm sick of the smell.”

“Aye aye Captain.”


End file.
